Isn't This What College is For?

I'm reevaluating myself. Asking all those questions you ask yourself a billions times throughout life and don't really figure out until you look back and see what it is you wanted and how you presented yourself. You know, the usual ones:
-Who the fuck am I? (When we get down to the very core)
-What do I want to be perceived as?
-What don't I like about myself?
-How do I fix the things i don't like, keep the essential parts of my personality, and transform into what I really want to be?
-What is holding me back?
-WHO is holding me back? What friendships aren't worth maintaining? Who have a grown apart from or even grown out of? Who just creates drama and negative energy? Who do I feel comfortable or totally like myself around?

I'll get back to you when I have an answer myself. Also, the big yet simple most important one of all:
What makes me happy?

Your Name Escapes Me

Run Dan Run and C.O. were wonderful last night, as always. I didn't enjoy C.O quite as much as the first time I saw them, but still could dig it. It just wasn't as intense of a performance. RDR was even better than before, but I wish they had played more off of basic mechanics. Fabulous, nonetheless. And of course I took a break and went outside and the NEXT song they played after I went out was Your Name Escapes me. Soooo I literally sprinted back in. Hahaha. Fireworks Show was def. not what I'm usually into but they got really into it and the singer had an interesting voice so I danced my heart out to those sporadic, epic drum solos. "Jam Band" or not I enjoyed a sess. of songs that were like 10 min. long for the first time ever, so it was good.

Pictures will be up soon. They're being retarded right now though.

The Fort Rumor Mill

So I may have never stepped into Fort Mill in my life...but somehow I know a great deal of history involving its residents. Maybe because half of them relocated to CofC and they're the people I enjoy being around the most. But sometimes it's a bit much. I know who dated who, who's into who, who broke whose heart, who used to be friends, who isn't getting along with each other...And of course they're finding all of this out about me. I know enough about Fort Mill and its residents to have created a persona as one of them. It's fun to fake people out and tell them what part of Fort Mill I grew up in and what street I lived on and who I lived across. And sometimes they believe me. Why? Because it's easy to become a Fort Mill expert and because I've sort of assimilated into the group. I like the sense of community and the fact that I'm not actually from Fort Mill doesn't really matter. However, the Fort rumor Mill isn't as fun. I DON'T like being caught up in drama as if I've been a part of certain people's lives for years and have witnessed the events which have lead up to recent tipping points. I don't like people knowing who I'm crushing on, who I've made-out with, who I'm mad at, and intricate details of what happens to me on a nightly basis. Ultimately what I'm saying is the same phenomenon that allowed me to feel so at ease around certain people and feel a sense of familiarity is the same ridiculous mass consciousness that allows people to know a tad too much about me. So here's my proposal...Fort Millions, I love you...you are the majority of the company I keep, but let's stop the gossip. Let's accept that we just met and be comfortable not knowing every detail of our lives before college. And let's also keep current details to ourselves. If you want to tell me about your life or I want to tell you about mine, okay. But I don't need to know what happened to other people recently, I don't need to know who said/did/implied what to who. I'll get the details straight from the source if they want to tell me. And that's the way I expect everyone to find out about my life. Okay? No more he said she said. And now we can actually get to know each other instead of just ABOUT each other. ;D I love all the amazing people that somehow originated from the same town. Yay for Fort Mill minus the rumor part. ;D

Rock 'n' Roll, Deal With It

I am way to obsessed with that book...but seriously I'm checking it out of the cofc library as soon as I'm not so tired. Baha. It's just...The Rules of Attraction seemed like an exaggeration back when I first read it, but it's totally accurate. Drinking, drugs, random hookups, friends fucking your roommates (or in my case suite mate). Not that I couldn't figure that stuff was normal in this day and age. But what extremes. And about friends have sex with your living mates...can we just talk about that? The very same cuddle buddy/roommate of my dear friends had sex with my suite mate last night. What the fuck. I mean...at least his dry spell is over. He hasn't had sex since November. But could he have ended it by screwing someone else? That would have been cool. Technically I broke his dry spell...but not completely. I didn't help him "break in his bed" by having sex in it. It's whatever. I'm just sort of tired of getting drunk and emotional or sexual. I went a while without drinking. And I didn't drink Friday because of the whole sezuire that day thing. But that wasn't really a big deal. I'm feeling very Lauren-from-the-rules-of-attractionesqe right now. And I really don't want to mirror her realistic fictional experiences.

It's a story that might bore you, but you don't have to listen, because I always knew it was going to happen that way...

Shannyn Sossamon does dress ridiculously cute in the mediocre movie though. Definitely.

Are you Devo?

Ahhhhhh, last night was nice. MUCH better than Saturday night. That was the first night I got so shitfaced that I threw-up the ENTIRE contents of my stomach and blacked out on Amelia's bathroom floor. I never ever want to do that again. Empty stomach + swig of vodka + another swig of vodka + beer + a rum drink chris made me + another big swig of vodka + another even bigger swig of vodka = very unhappy, sick, embarrassingly drunk and vomiting me. Vodka is usually my friend. But not on nights when my stomach is empty and I keep grabbing the bottle and gulping it down until the taste gets to me and I need to stop/breathe. I am not a drunk...or a messy one at that...usually. But there's a first time for everything, everyone's been there, and Amelia and Justin were such sweethearts, helping me get from place to place (usually a bathroom), bringing me water, and telling me I'm beautiful. So...that's that, I guess.

Anyways, on a lighter note. LAST night. I slept over on canon street again. But this time not on the couch. It's so weird that I'm crushing on kristen and amelia's roommate...just a tad bit. All we really did was cuddle though. And I love that. The most comfy mattress and down sheets. I had weird dreams though. But anyways...back to that one roommate. I don't understand how kristen and amelia find him so unappealing. Amelia even admitted that he has a really nice body and a good face. I think he's a definite attractive and a sweetie pie too. Always baking cookies, and sharing food, and being adorable and playing with kristen's cat's, and sharing cigarettes, and just CUDDLING. Ugh. I sound like such a crazy person. And I don't have real feelings for him or anything. I could never DATE him. But I just feel really comfortable and happy around him. That doesn't mean I can't notice that duck from casino night and also be excited that he turns around and looks back at me. Or that I can't still think a certain boy is the bee's knees. Or that I can't be incredibly STOKED that a certain friend of a friend is going to be here in the near future. Anyways...I LOVE LOVE! ;D

The Rules of Attraction?

Honestly I only titled this blog TRoA because I'm feeling love for college life. I'm thinking about checking that book out from the cofc library, actually. First class of today starts at 11:00. Survey of American Lit. to present. Cool beans. My sister is ordering pizza tonight and letting me come over and raid her closet. Should be fun. I'm really hoping to get closer to her now that I'm living downtown. My favorite thing about the area is still all the cute guys...aka ducks. I don't know how I feel about having to keep up with the fashions though. I LOVE fashion...but 3 days of seeing 60% of the female population in high waisted skirts has nearly ruined them for me. So last night I traded in the skirt for a pair of ripped up cut-offs, a grey tank, and a checkered shirt. Chris: Do you wear those jeans to church? Me: What? No...why? Chris: Because they're your holy jeans.
Bahaha. I'm easily amused.

Today I'm wearing a green tank with white stripes and dark grey shorts. Apparently a lot of other people have got tired of dressing up (not that i ever will really tire of that) and are doing the casual thing as well. Shorts and tee-shirts. Casual wednesday.

I love college. And THIS OUTFIT from lookbook!:



So next couple days=dress cas.? I think so.

Edie and Igby

Back in middle school my older sister introduced me to what is now one of my all time favorite movies: Igby Goes Down. I love love love the rich characters, witty banter, and high drama. But what I really adore is Amanda Peet's wardrobe! I can't help but notice a little bit of an Edie Sedgwick influence in her character and costumes though. I mean...seriously...a narotic, drug addicted, yet stunning "dancer who doesn't dance" whose best friend is a gay artist and who wears striped sweaters with black tights, extravagent coats, and tailored dresses? Just look for self and try and tell me I'm wrong! :)